So I've been derping around the interwebs a lot lately, coming across more and more posts about how geek girls are way under-represented in geek culture discussions as a whole. Well, that and objectified way more than in the world of the non-geeks, where cretins reign supreme. Or so they say. Then today, I came across another such article, written by a guy who basically said, "If you guys are so concerned about finding a geeky girlfriend, how about treating geeky girls like humans every once in awhile." Frankly, I was a fan.
Story time:
See, I've always been considered a tomboy. In elementary school I was just as likely to be outside rolling around in the mud and racing the boys as I was to be in my room reading Babysitter's Club and pretending my barbies were Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears (don't judge). In junior high, I discovered Lord of the Rings, and other similarly geeky fandoms and fell in love. And outside of my room, I was still the girl who was wrestling with the guys, couldn't understand why it was less socially acceptable than it had been a year before, and when I finally did figure that out, spent large amounts of time mourning the fact that I was seen as one of the boys. High school found me geekier, really not a huge fan of most of the guys I was forced into association with, and finally kinda sorta admitting that I was a girl and should maybe get over that someday.
So now what was the point of that minor history lesson? So you can see where I'm coming from. I spent my life being teased for one of three things: 1) Because I was a girl and smaller and weaker than most of my friends. 2) Because I was unashamedly a geek. 3) Because I was a Christian, and thought that being a geek and being a Christian could co-exist. Why number three? Because either I'm in secular forums where the majority of people there spend a decent amount of time ridiculing Christians for their illogical beliefs, or I'm in Christian forums where the genres of fantasy, sci-fi and almost everything else I love get lambasted because they're demonic (true story). Add that to the fact that I'm a girl, and there are large factions in all three of the realms I live in (everyday life, geekdom and Christendom) who see me as a lesser being because of that. Let's just state the obvious and say that I really don't agree with that assessment of my identity.
Let's pull this apart piece by piece. What world do I live in, and why am I constantly looked down on wherever I turn? I'll start with the easiest. Normal everyday life, where everyone who has ever listened to a feminist speak knows that girls get the short end of the stick very often just because. Male supremacy, cavemen who believe that our place is in the kitchen and in their beds, etc. This, while changing, still represents a significant portion of society. The objectifying, the standard of "beauty", all that, that's another subject. Suffice to say that if I'm working with a guy, and I'm tasked with proving my competency, I get ready for a marathon.
Next up, one of my refuges. Geek culture. Strong female characters became a trend in the sci-fi/fantasy and the women around the world rejoiced! Finally, role models for those who really didn't care to become actual models! Then the other side of the shoe dropped... 95% of the time, these strong women were also clothed in skin-tight fabric that covered less than your average fig leaf. And then you get the tendency that geeky guys have to want girls to prove themselves 5 times over to be accepted as a "true geek" and not just some girl who pretends to like this stuff because she's too ugly to get guys in other cultures (disclaimer, this is not my opinion, these are things I've heard more times than I can count from both guys and girls). Okay, so I prove myself, again and again. I play the games, I read the books, I watch the movies, I live and breathe the TV shows. I've effectively made myself an outcast from other areas of society because this is where my passion lies, same as any guy who went to Middle Earth to escape the world for a little while. And now I come to this place, where you claim to build up those who have been scorned by the majority for their passionate love for worlds that only exist in our heads, and I find that you really only meant guys are welcome. Girls are still objectified, mocked, told to make sandwiches, or go find a girly hobby to pursue, like Olympic level shopping (for the record, I love shopping... for books and games and gadgets). Oh, also, the majority of geek culture isn't really a fan of Christianity (which is not without cause), so I get a lot of flack for that too. But still, I stay and take it because this is what I love, more than anything else (except Jesus).
Which brings me to the final area of my life. The Church. Which (correct me if I'm wrong) was commissioned to take in the poor and the outcasts and anyone else who wants to enter into the Kingdom. And with all those people, there's bound to be some diversity right? So why is it that the largest opposition I get comes from the Church? Let me clarify, not from God. As far as God and I are concerned, my passions are okay with Him, because they made me who I am, which is His child and loved as such. No, from the Church, those who are tasked with being his hands and feet and mouth, which seems to be the part they love the most. Not that I'm not a fan of being the mouth myself on occasion, or else why would I be writing this? But seriously. In the Church, I've encountered some very non-Biblical attitudes from people who claim to base their whole life off of the Bible. In the interest of grace, I'll allow that I've not managed to apply it to every area in my life either. But at least I admit it. Moving on.
These attitudes basically boil down to this: You're not qualified to speak on this subject/hold authority here because you are (insert option here). Options: a. Younger than 50. b. A girl. c. You believe that you won't go to hell for reading Harry Potter. d. You play that one game that features a world that worships more than one god. e. You're a girl who thinks she's intelligent (which is obviously impossible). f. Did we mention you spend most of your time reading things that aren't real, which means you're not grounded in reality?
Let me step back and paint my vision of what I believe Christianity to entail: Loving everyone, as Christ loves them. Understanding that Christ loves them no matter what gender they are, what political persuasion they are, what age they are, or what books, movies and TV shows they choose to occupy their time with. He still died on the cross for them, so we should still love them. Sounds simple, right? It is. Unfortunately, it's not all that easy. Add the human part of the equation in, and we make everything way more complicated than it has to be. Which makes everything that much more difficult. It's our gift. Which creates the Christian cultures where everything from mythology to superheroes get looked down on (no matter how many Biblical parallels exist in such things... I could write a book on that, but I won't right now). And oh by the way, everything that is considered okay is boring. Unless it was written by people who also studied mythology and philosophers that most Christians claim are the devil incarnate (J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Madeline L'Engle, need I go on?). Before I go off on a rant on anti-intellectualism in the Church, let me just say: This is why the geek culture overwhelmingly hates the Church. Because so many Christians spend so much time trashing the very things the geeks build their lives around, and oh by the way Jesus loves you.
And girls in the Church! Oh, that's almost a whole other blog post. Basically, just go to Rachel Held Evans' blog and read all her blog posts, and her book about the subject. One of her biggest fights? Modesty in the Church, and how the line some Christians take on it seriously objectifies women. Now, where have I heard that before? Also because I'm a woman I'm not allowed to speak, or hold authority, or cut my hair, or any other number of things that have shaky authority at best. But oh yeah, I'm still totally a Child of God, same as any man.
Back to my part in all this. Where exactly am I supposed to turn? As a person who has to live and work in normal society, I get looked down on because I'm a woman and a Christian. In geek world, I not only have to prove myself worthy to be included in it, I then still get looked down on because I'm a woman and a Christian. But I still get more acceptance in the geek world than anywhere else, and really where else am I going to find a large community of people who share my interests because I'm a Christian. And in Christianity, where I should find the most acceptance of all, being a geek may or may not be a sin. The jury is still out on that. So really? Where do I turn?
(Disclaimer: I'm aware that I made sweeping generalizations, and that there are people in all three areas who are enlightened. This is a rant about the majority, and it should be taken as such.)
