I've not actually read the book "Jesus Feminist" yet. But I've read Sarah Bessey's blog, I've read reviews of the book, and I just now ordered it because being a member of Barnes & Noble helps shave dollars off of new books prices. Something I appreciate greatly right now. At any rate, I would probably have gotten the book anyway, even without the discount. I'm just way to excited about its existence to not own it. I get like that with some books. Some, I can manage to wait until such a time as it's actually financially wise to buy them, or find them used somewhere. Not so with books that I've been looking forward to for weeks. It just seems sacrilegious to NOT get them. Anyway. That's not the point. The point is that in the two weeks or so since this term "Jesus Feminist" came on my radar, I've been mulling over the term, what it means to me and all that sort of fun stuff. All while fangirling over Sarah Bessey's Blog and the existence of such a book.
This means so much to me, because I've always felt like I kinda fell into the "feminist" mindset by default. Even if I didn't necessarily consider myself a hardcore feminist (because I don't hate men. I'm really a huge fan of them most of the time). Why? Because I was never a huge fan of the idea that women were not equal to men. I mean, I've mentioned before that as a kid, I was as likely to be outside wrestling with boys and helping my dad work on cars and build stuff as I was to be inside, playing dress up or putting large amounts of gaudy play make-up on (there are some pictures I'm glad are lost). I spent a large portion of my life fighting against the idea of being "feminine" because that seemed like it was portrayed as weak, especially in the context of the Church. I got a lot of "stop running around, why can't you sit still, be quiet, don't speak out, don't have an opinion, just hang out in the kitchen" from my early years. Even the very idea of buying clothing made for women was foreign to me until I was 16 or 17. There are a lot of reasons for that, most of which I don't have time to go into today.
But this idea of being a Jesus Feminist. Of accepting your identity as one that was God-given, and powerful, no matter what gender, no matter what background, no matter what. I love the video that Sarah posted on her blog yesterday, a video that mostly consists of a compilation of the pictures that have been being uploaded on the Jesus Feminist Facebook page (definitely worth checking out). But at the very beginning, she explains why she wrote the book and that really got me. It's very much in line with a theme in my life lately, namely, "how then shall we live?" I've gotten that the old way isn't necessarily the best way of doing things. In some areas of my life, it's out and out the worst way of doing things. In that area of how the Church treats women, it's really not a shining example of a city on a hill in most cases. But she poses the question: After we've decided that Jesus was actually a pretty huge fan of women, and saw them as equals in the Kingdom of God (Paul anyone? There is neither slave nor free, male nor female... I know I'm paraphrasing, but you get the point) how then shall we live? How do we walk it out, become an "outpost for the Kingdom of God" as she says in the video. How does the revelation that women are as powerful as men, and meant to walk as equal partners and co-laborers in the Kingdom transform our lives?
For me it's realizing that there doesn't need to be a break between being secure in my identity as a woman and being powerful. That's not something that comes easily to me. In fact, just last weekend a Facebook friend of mine posted about being one of those women who broke the glass ceiling while wearing heels, to point out that being feminine does not mean being weak. I think I read that post 30 times to try and wrap my mind around it. This concept is so foreign to me, for some reason. It shouldn't be. It's not like I haven't known and/or read about many women who are totally feminine and still manage to kick butt. But it never fully translated into something that looked like, "oh hey, I could maybe try this and not freak out." So that's something I've been examining recently. Why I still cling to the notion that being a tomboy and liking "not girly things" means I'm not feminine, no matter how many times my awesome friends have called me on my crap in that particular area of life. It's been a huge thing in my life, where I refuse to/am scared of anything that strikes me as overtly feminine, and I know it needs to change. What could accepting my identity as a woman change in my life? Jesus is really actually on board with me doing that, I've found.
And eventually, you know, I should probably listen to Jesus. Being His disciple and all that.
So therein lies a huge reason of why I'm excited for this book. Because I've always been one who thinks that girls should be strong, but I've rarely ever been one who connected that with them being girls. Because I really need to work out that area of my life. More and more, I find that I need to be a whole person, and ignoring the part of my identity that is arguably the most permanent is not the best way to do it. Or so I've realized.
Whew. How's that for honesty.
(Sidenote: Now, after all that I get to go write for my hugely emotionally charged novel... because I'm crazy like that. There will likely be another post in the near-ish future about stuff I've already learned, less than a week in.)
