I'm In Love With a Church Girl - In Review

So last week, I got the chance to go visit my aunt in the Bay Area and she happened to be able to get me a free ticket to go see this new Christian movie, "I'm In Love With A Church Girl." So first, thank you to my aunt and to the guy who bought the tickets. It's always nice to get a movie for free. I posted about it on Facebook and promised to give a review and then promptly put it off while I tried to collect my thoughts. Which I think I've managed to do now. And I'd like to start it off saying that this is all just my opinion and people should totally go see it for themselves if they want to figure out if I was totally off.

Honestly though, I was a little wary of what I was walking into. Because, as I've written about earlier this year, my general relationship with Christian art has not been entirely positive. I have a low tolerance for low quality work from Christians when we have the ultimate connection to God, the Creator of All The Things.

Having said that, it gives you insight into how I went into this movie. Knowing that it was based on a true story, and desperately hoping that this would help it feel more real. It was interesting, watching it in the location where it was filmed (we were in San Jose, and if you're familiar with the area, this guy who the movie is about is now a pastor at Church on the Hill). Lots of people from the myriad of churches and Christian schools in the area, lots of cheers when popular local areas and sites popped up. Kinda surreal to see areas that you know on the big screen, but that's beside the point.

I'll start with the basic plot (SPOILER ALERT from here on out): Think redemption story. The synopsis from the website says:

"Cars. Good looks. Mansions. Money. Women. Miles Montego has it all. Including a past. He was king of the streets as a high-level drug trafficker, and although he has tried to move on, the DEA isn’t convinced. Miles is still rolling with his old friends and colleagues, and the feds are certain he has not fully retired from his criminal past. When Miles meets Vanessa Leon, a woman who is different than every other woman he’s met, he is drawn to her beauty and her faith. She is a “church girl” in every sense of the word. Increasingly, he is torn between a life that he knows and a love that he feels. As Vanessa experiences his lavish lifestyle, mobster-type friends, gun play, and encounters with past women, Vanessa must reconcile her faith in God and her growing love for Miles. Both are tested to their last ounce of faith and strength in God and each other. God continues to chip away at Miles through struggles from his past, having to live up to his reputation, feelings of unworthiness, the death of his mother, federal charges, his friends being indicted, the strain on his relationship with Vanessa, almost losing her in a near-fatal car accident, and finally the spiritual breakdown that brings him on his knees to face God one-on-one.

I’M IN LOVE WITH A CHURCH GIRL is a powerful, inspiring story of a love between a man and a woman, a gift of second chances, and a family at home and in church that never stops praying and believing."

Honestly, the first thing I thought when I read this was, "well, whoever wrote this clearly doesn't understand the value of leaving a plot-twist or two in mystery." It literally lines up everything that happens in the movie. But I was still determined to give it a chance, because really who can fault a slightly over-informative synopsis? It happens. Let it go. 

So the movie was written and produced by the guy who it all happened, to, named Galley Molina. If you Google the guy (which I did just now, because I was curious as to the real details of the story) you see that he's huge in the entertainment industry. Before he was a Christian, he was huge into the music and film business and he's continued in that since converting, just diverting his considerable resources to "more Godly" versions of the real deal. Which totally explains the first thing I was suitably impressed with about the movie: The cinematography and production was really quality. Honestly. It wasn't reminiscent of a soap opera, or super jumpy or any other major quality issues. It focused a little too much on solo close-ups mid conversation for my taste, but that's just a stylistic thing that I just don't like that much.

Personally, I prefer the sort of indie style of cinematography (think Juno, Scott Pilgrim, Away We Go, etc.) so it felt a little clean cut to me, and way flashy. But it was still really good quality.

So, with the writing, acting and soundtrack... I'll start with the acting. It had good moments and bad moments. The good moments included the points where the writing allowed for people to actually get mad or just overwrought, as well as the more natural interactions between the Miles and Vanessa. The scene where Miles finally breaks down and has a screaming fit at God before repenting was particularly powerful. It was when they got into the heavy conversations with one or more people that it started feeling wooden to me. Like, there were still some good moments, but they were fewer and farther between.

Now for the writing. While I give absolute kudos to Galley Molina for taking on the writing of a screenplay about his own life, for the sake of creative license, I feel that he should have at least had ONE co-writer who was a more experienced writer. In all the list of his creative accomplishments, I saw music and movie producing, not writing, which makes a difference. Now, if this had been in a non-fiction book format, the sort of writing might have been more okay. As it was, it fell below the line of quality on my scale. But the good first.

The movie's message was great, saying that God can redeem everything no matter how far gone you are. (Note: while in the movie Miles didn't got to jail, Galley actually did, which is where he started writing this whole thing out.) I mean, you can't argue with that. Also, good: They hit up topics relating to dating/falling in love with an unequally yoked couple. Or in non-Christianese, one Christian, on non-Christian. Things like what happens when he is sexually frustrated and happens upon Song of Solomon (one of the funniest scenes of the movie. He likened it to late-night HBO). What happens when a sheltered Christian girl encounters the kind of world where loaded pistols are kept in glove boxes. What a person's reaction is when they're searching, but are faced with personal tragedy (his mother dying suddenly). A holiday church-goers reaction to things like tithing and worship music and your average sermon. How a Christian has to show grace to deal with a dark past. That part I particularly appreciated. There was very little condemnation and lots of grace in dealing with Miles as he was searching.

So that was the positive. The negative was (in some minds) me nitpicking. But there were some things that consistently show up in Christian movies that drive me nuts. First is a simple equation: Often wooden acting + every cliche Christian line you can think of = Serious cheese. For the record, my definition of a cliche is something that is usually absolutely true, it's just been said so often as a cure-all without any real feeling behind it that turns it into something people roll their eyes at. That being said, I feel like so often truths about Christ, statements that are actually really valuable, are turned into cliches because they are said so often, or in such a tone, that they become not relateable. In my mind, that's what happened here. It has to strike a balance. If it sounds like you're just saying it because you think it's what you should be saying, not because you feel it (which is what happened here), or if it's so filled with sincerity that any logical person would gag, you're not hitting it. I realize this seems like a small thing to some people. But it frustrates me, because we have this overwhelmingly awesome God that is infinite and mighty and people can only find 20 things to say about Him over and over again, and not even with feeling. 

Second negative was the missionary dating aspect. I realize that it's a true story, and that's how it happened so there's not a lot you can do about it. Heck, it's really what the whole movie is about. So this is probably unreasonable of me. I just think it bears mentioning that it is not a reasonable assumption to think that just because it does happen means that it happens all the time. That's all.

And while I'm not sure exactly how it happened in real life, in the movie is seemed too easy. Like, she got everything material and all she had to do was covert the guy. They were very careful to show her as not caring about the money, but come on now. It was obvious that it was part of what drew her to him at first. Again that may be nitpicking. Also, I was actually kinda disappointed that the movie didn't show him going to jail like his friends did. It was like he got off scot-free for some serious stuff, when in reality he didn't. 

The other big thing for me was that the story felt clunky. The flow was forced.

The biggest thing for me though was that it could have been SO much better. That's what disappointed me the most. I mean, you've got real life gold here. Things happen in real life that no fiction writer could ever come up with, unless it had already happened to them somehow. To take such a powerful story and water it down with less-than-stellar writing just seems wrong to me. I understand that Galley Molina lived this story. I understand how difficult it is to let something like that out of your grasp, and let other writers put their grubby mitts all over it. All the same, the first rule of any Creative Writing class is that workshopping is a thing, it's a good thing, and it will eventually make you a better writer and will definitely improve your writing. It hurts like crazy, especially when it's your own retelling of personal experience they're tearing apart, but it's worth it. Also, if it's a retelling of your life that you're trying to convert to a different format, it's highly valuable to have someone experienced in that field come alongside and co-write to make sure the transfer happens well. *sigh* I'm going to stop now.

Finally, the soundtrack. It was, again, well produced and fairly good quality music of it's own merit. The problem I had with it was that it seemed like they wanted the soundtrack to be the vehicle for all the feelings the actors weren't doing so great at showing at times. So while the actors are reciting a Bible verse uber-sincerely, but without huge amounts of expression, the music was like a flashing neon sign saying, "JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FEEL HERE, WE'RE GOING TO FORCE IT ON YOU!" Or like, "THIS IS A SUBTLE DRAMATIC MOMENT, JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU NOTICED!" That part bugged me. Just a little bit.

So that's what I thought about it. Overall, the movie was well produced and occasionally well acted. It had a good message, one that I think needs to be heard more than the "turn or burn" train of thought. I wouldn't go so far as to call it well written, but that's me. On a scale of 1-5, I would give it a high 3 in terms of overall quality. If this seems harsh, sorry. Like I said in my last post, I get super critical of stuff that other Christians do because I so desperately want to be able to walk into a Christian movie and be able to walk out giving it sparkling reviews. Hopefully that happens next time...

Relationships With Words, People and the Church

Words are a double-edged sword. I didn't need anyone to actually tell me this, I found it out on my own. First, I found out by saying the wrong thing a whole lot of times, until it finally caught up to me that I was kinda good at using words to really hurt people. After that, I retreated into myself, trying not to say anything for fear of saying something offensive. I learned during this time though that I'm really, really, really BAD at not saying anything. Seriously, so bad. I'd resist until I couldn't stand it anymore and then I'd go off on people in a way that was way more harmful than it would have been had I just stuck with speaking my mind off the cuff. Because I'd have time to think about it, to formulate exactly why they were wrong, why they sucked, why they should obviously be the ones to change everything about their life, while I sat there content in my right-ness, not doing anything. And, being totally honest, most of that criticism is aimed at the Church as a whole and the various ways in which being human is not allowed within our culture.

God has been teaching me a lot about THAT attitude.

Mostly, I've been learning about tempering criticism with love. Not speaking in such general terms that I unintentionally criticize people who I actually agree with (I hear all of my English teachers ever, telling me that using direct, concise language is the key to writing well, like a chorus). This is very difficult for me, especially when I get passionate about a subject and I just want to run off and say All The Things! that are going on in my mind.

For instance (because this is what inspired this post), I found this blog today and started reading some really overwhelmingly awesome stuff about women who are standing up to the norm in the church and speaking out for the outcasts, the people who live on the edges, the people who always felt like "doing church" was not consistent with who they really were. My reaction to it was visceral, because I relate to it so very much. I was a tomboy growing up in a church culture that practically idolized the 1950s housewife. I was told that if I didn't want to wear a pretty, flowery dress and lacy socks with cute shoes to church on Sundays, I wasn't respecting the sacredness of God's house. I went to every Sunday School event, every summer at camp (which were by far my favorite times, because no one at camp expects you to wear dresses AND you still get to learn about Jesus), every youth conference, a youth group where I was mocked for hanging out with the nerdy boys, and a youth group where I was accepted and encouraged and found freedom to be myself for the first time. I tried a few women's events, but being that I was still in high school, and not anywhere near being a mother or a wife or even an adult, I found little there for me. Plus my general dislike for canned sentiments and shallow cliches that would be true is there was even an ounce of sincerity behind it really didn't jive well with the "traditional" Women's ministry outline. But that's more of an issue with the Church as a whole and not just specific areas of it.

And not just that, I was a outspoken, opinionated female who also happened to be about 20-30 years younger than most of the leaders in my churches. Who were mostly men. I've written about that before, not all that long ago. When my friend and I spearheaded the effort to start a youth group newsletter, with ourselves at the helm of writing it, the lack of support from that majority of that church body was resounding.

But I digress. Given that background, and the fact that I'm still in the Church today, there had to be something that made me stick around all this time, right? There was. Well, someone. Jesus. I couldn't ever shake the feeling, even when I was in the midst of filling my journals with angsty rants about how I always felt like I was wearing a mask so that people wouldn't be offended by the "real me," that this was not how it was supposed to be. That there was supposed to be freedom. Freedom and love. And grace. Lots of that. So I went on a search for it, and found it in a church that has been rocking my life for the last 4 years or so. And all of a sudden, I was looking back, seeing with clear eyes all the things that the churches I'd been in had done wrong, all the beliefs and subtle contexts that had backed me into a corner of chains and guilt and shame. Problem was/is, this is happening at a time when I'm also finding my writing voice, honing my ability to craft words into really sharp blades that can draw a lot of blood from innocent bystanders if they aren't wielded carefully.

So what is the point of all this? It's mostly an apology. I realized recently that the reason I'm so very hard on the Church is because I love it so much, it kills me to see Christians hurting people, driving people away, hurting themselves with wrong thinking, and generally not living free. Like seriously, I just want to grab the Church's face and shake them and be like "DO YOU NOT SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO PEOPLE WHO ARE HURTING AND SEARCHING??? INCLUDING YOURSELVES????" Except for that's kinda impossible, as the Church doesn't actually HAVE a physical face and even if it did, it'd probably be way too big for me to grab it. So I content myself with writing, about anything and everything that I see is wrong.

Problem is, I forget to mention that I see what's right too. I see people who are changing, and trying to figure out how to be better. I realize that people are in fact human and not perfect, and that the incomprehensible Grace and Love that is so precious to me has been extended to them too. I'm working on the whole "how to write well and offend, but in a loving way" concept, because I do believe that you can't state a strong opinion without offending someone. Even true things. Truth is offensive to many, for a variety of reasons. Also, I don't claim to always write truthful things. I feel like that's an important addition to this confession. I just call it as I see it and pray that God uses my words to touch someone out there. Use that cool sword I made to knight some people, not behead them.

I can't really think of a better way to end this than post this song that's been overwhelming my life. And it's by Katy Perry (speaking of lessons on how to amend previous negative views...). It's like, the coolest ever love song from Jesus to us, even if that wasn't how it was meant. It's my new catchphrase that I'm trying out: Doesn't matter, still Kingdom.

A Collection of Thoughts

For the record, the above video may or may not have anything to do with the subjects covered. But it's what I've been listening to on repeat for the last few days, and I'm absolutely enthralled. So I'll share it wherever I can.

These last couple of weeks have been very eventful. I have been busy, way more busy than just about any time in my life since college and especially since May. But I haven't gained enough distance from the events of May 5th to really dig into the full extent of what that day has done to my life. Except for it led to the current busy state of my life, albeit indirectly. Mostly because, when your life is ripped away for a time and then handed back in a pile of tatters, where do you really have to go besides up?

Recover, rebuild, heal, whatever you want to call it, I've been doing it, since I managed to get my butt off the ground again. So now I'm doing this awesome thing at church, Nikao School of Leadership. Nikao is Greek for overcome, victory. Because really, isn't the whole point of leadership to lead people into victory and help them overcome, whatever that may look like? Minor detail: you first have to learn to do it yourself. Thus, the School. It marks one of the reasons I'm now busy 5 nights a week, accounting for two nights. And two nights that I already look forward to, even though we're only in the third week.

Leadership is an interesting concept to me. I've always been a somewhat natural leader, being halfway an oldest child. In many ways it was thrust upon me as something I had to learn to do, whether or not I wanted to. But most of the time I wanted to, because let's be honest, being a leader tends to mean people are listening to you. And that was what I craved above all else.

Now, I just write (though sometimes I forget to finish a thought on the same day that I started it). Which leads to the latest fun development in my life! NaNoWriMo!!!!!! (NaNoWriMo Home) This isn't exactly a new thing, seeing as this is my third year doing NaNo. But I will be trying something new this time around, and actually writing something that will be more serious than tongue-in-cheek. The last couple of years were fantasy novels that tended very heavily towards dry humor and satire. This year though, I'm attempting a contemporary, New Adult (which is the term for Young Adult-style but for audiences over 18) story about a highly contested subject.... SEX! (Yes, I realize I internet-yelled that word. Don't ask me why.)

Seriously, I'm going to try and work out a way to write about a group of new adults (probably ages 17-19) trying to work out what it means to be pure in a society that is decidedly not pure. I'm working on coming up with different religious and cultural backgrounds for the characters, so that I can draw from as many viewpoints as possible. For the record, I'm going to skip the characters actually having sex part, and mostly just talk about it a lot. And mostly, learning how to make healthy decisions in this one highly important area of life when there are so many different messages coming at them from sources that do not agree AT ALL.

Why attempt such a huge thing in just a month? Well, because I'm crazy. But we already knew that, because this is the third time I'm choosing to willingly put myself through the madness that is NaNo. Also, because I think it's something that needs to be written about with a solid dose of grace and mercy thrown in. It may or may not be overtly Christian in message, but you can sure bet Jesus will be there guiding the conclusions they come to. Additionally, this topic about how different cultures, particularly the Christian sub-culture, view sex and teach about it has been on my heart and mind a lot for years now, because it gets to be such a hot topic with so much division stemming from this one area of life. And I don't think anyone really gets it right all the time, when it comes to the healthiest way to treat your body. And make relationship decisions. And learn that ever important fruit of the Spirit, Self-Control.

So yeah. I'm being pretty open when I say that part of the reason I'm writing this is as a form of therapy and getting myself to a place where I have a better, more healthy understanding of this whole area of life where, frankly, my education was sorely lacking.

AND on that note. I would like to put it out there, for anyone who might have a different perspective on the issue than I do (which is probably most of the people who read this), I'd love to collect thoughts and opinions and resources that you know of supporting your views. It would be a great help. Thanks muchly, in advance!