Holidailies Day 9: My Thoughts On...?

I don't actually know what to write about today, which is why I've put it off until later. This is usually the time of night when my mind unblocks itself after running around in circles all day, but alas, such a thing has not yet happened. Mostly what I can think of are things about today that just... weren't ideal. It was too cold (I know, I'm a Californian wimp to the core, but at least I own it). I got up super early to go to a job interview which made me go out in the super cold, actually scrape my windshield of the fairly thick layer of ice that had accumulated on the entire car (I would have been impressed, except for my hands were freezing), and then get stuck in traffic on the way down to interview for a job that ended up being exactly what I wasn't looking for, in just about every way possible other than the fact that it would make me money (albeit not much). The feeling was mutual. So my day got off to a great start! Then I got to go home and apply for more jobs! You know the job search is getting desperate when I'm going back to Craigslist, which I swore never to use again after I found some way more promising looking sites, just to widen my pool of opportunities.

I'm attempting to trust God in this. Attempting, I say, because I'm not sure how well it's going. Some days I'm good, I can rest well and be peaceful. Days like today, I'm just overwhelmed and trying to just keep going until it's time to go into the blessed release of sleep. I know that it's these times of life when the rubber really hits the road, so to speak. Problem is, I feel like I can't even find the road, at least not the one that leads to being able to support myself financially.

I don't really know what else to say. It's entirely possible that I'll wake up tomorrow, with a totally new perspective and a way to figure things out. I'm really kinda counting on that, because more of what I got today just would not be a good plan. It would lead to bad places that I don't want to go back to. That I won't go back to. I'm declaring that right now. I'm not going back to the darkest of places that I spent too long in before I moved to Rocklin. It's not going to happen, because I've got my Jesus, and the knowledge of His love is too great for me to go back now. Thus it is said, thus it shall be done.